when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
