if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
