My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
