just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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