i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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