I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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