Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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