We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
