How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
