Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
