she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
