so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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