It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
