Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize