Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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