the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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