one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
