So drunk its hurt
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
