it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
