3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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