im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She told me I should be a condom model.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
