WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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