we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
