if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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