Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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