she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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