Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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