Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
