I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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