Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
