glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i would punch a child for taco bell
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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