Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
this is an emotional support booty call
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
