let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
