john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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