I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
