Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
