you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
