The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
