Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
