U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize