Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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