I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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