I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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