the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
