he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
