member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
