You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
