She is in my trunk
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
