would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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