is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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