i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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