do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
