Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize