I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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