this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
