I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
