wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
