your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
