Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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