; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize