Dual....:-)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
