ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
