I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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