Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she pinky promised me she was 18
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
