So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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